A Brief Literature Review of the Nine Principles that Establish and Maintain Successful Families

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a companion principle to repentance and has been examined extensively in the literature. Two types of forgiveness have been studied repeatedly: trait forgiveness and state forgiveness. Trait forgiveness is the tendency to be forgiving in general, whereas state forgiveness pertains to offering forgiveness in a specific circumstance (Webb et al., 2015). While both types of forgiveness can have a positive impact on health and relationships, trait forgiveness appears to be particularly helpful. Trait forgiveness is predictive of higher levels of marital satisfaction (Mirzadeh & Fallahchai, 2012), positive consequences on family relationships (Maio et al., 2008), mental health (Rasmussen et al., 2019), and improved cardiovascular health (Fincham, 2019). Becoming a forgiving person, in addition to forgiving in specific circumstances, can have a powerful impact on one’s life and relationships.

Regarding physical health and well-being, research has found that forgiveness is correlated with better cardiovascular health (Rasmussen et al., 2019), sleep quality and fatigue (Lawler et al., 2005), and overall physical health (Davis et al., 2015). The findings for the positive impact of forgiveness on mental health were often even more robust (e.g., Rasmussen et al., 2019). Forgiveness has been connected with lower levels of depression and anxiety (Tenklova & Slezackova, 2016), enhanced psychological well-being among children (Van Der Wal et al., 2016) and adolescents (Wulandari & Megawati, 2020) and older adults (Krause & Ellison, 2003), and overall psychological well-being (Akhtar et al., 2017; Davis et al., 2015; Singh & Sharma, 2018). If you are concerned about your physical or mental health, one thing that might help is the practice and trait of forgiveness.

Successful marriages, defined in this context as having high levels of satisfaction and quality, definitely appear to be established and maintained upon the principle of forgiveness. There is a plethora of research on the positive influence of forgiveness within the marital context (for a review, see May et al., 2020). For example, when forgiveness was present, it predicted better conflict resolution (Fincham et al., 2004), marital quality (Paleari et al., 2005), and marital satisfaction (Mirzadeh & Fallahchai, 2012). On the other hand, when individuals ruminate over an offense by a spouse (thinking about it over and over), it can lead to a lack of forgiveness and a decrease in marital satisfaction (Paleari et al., 2005). If the goal is forgiveness and marital satisfaction, one would likely be better served by praying for their partner, as doing so is predictive of greater forgiveness (Fincham & May, 2017). If one chooses a path of forgiveness in marriage, it is not only likely to improve relationship quality but also personal well-being and mental health (Paleari et al., 2014). Forgiveness in marriage can be challenging, but if we strive to watch our thoughts (Mosiah 4:30) and work toward becoming a forgiving spouse, it can pay significant dividends for our marriage. Note: forgiveness and trust are two different things. One can forgive and choose not to trust, which in some cases might be wise. However, if trust has been broken, one crucial step in rebuilding trust is forgiveness. Trust cannot be rebuilt without forgiveness.

Beyond marital forgiveness and well-being, forgiveness can also improve the general family environment (Maio et al., 2008) which can affect all members of the family. An important element of forgiveness in family life is the forgiveness people seek and obtain from God. There are clear benefits in choosing to keep the commandment (D&C 64:10) to forgive others in our interpersonal relationships and keeping this commandment can become easier if we experience our own forgiveness from God. In fact, data suggests that experiencing forgiveness from God is predictive of whether or not we forgive ourselves (Fincham & May, 2017) and in our interpersonal relationships (Fincham & May, 2023). For instance, researchers examined the role of forgiveness in older adults and discovered that older adults who reported experiencing forgiveness from God were more willing to forgive unconditionally and experienced lower levels of psychological distress (Krause & Ellison, 2003). These researchers highlighted that how we forgive matters. Conditional forgiveness that requires the offender to perform acts of contrition (such as offering an apology) tends to be less beneficial than forgiveness that is unconditional. This finding helps highlight an important reality as it pertains to forgiveness: unlike trust, which requires both parties to participate, forgiveness is completely within our control. 

Forgiveness is not only a commandment from God, but also a key principle of successful relationships and personal well-being.

References

Akhtar, S., Dolan, A., & Barlow, J. (2017). Understanding the Relationship Between State Forgiveness and Psychological Wellbeing: A Qualitative Study. Journal of Religion and Health, 56(2), 450–463. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-016-0188-9

Davis, D. E., Ho, M. Y., Griffin, B. J., Bell, C., Hook, J. N., Van Tongeren, D. R., DeBlaere, C., Worthington, E. L., & Westbrook, C. J. (2015). Forgiving the self and physical and mental health correlates: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 62(2), 329–335. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000063

Fincham, F. D. (2019). Forgiveness in Marriage. In E. L. Worthington & N. G. Wade (Eds.), Handbook of Forgiveness (2nd ed., pp. 142–152). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781351123341-14

Fincham, F. D., Beach, S. R. H., & Davila, J. (2004). Forgiveness and Conflict Resolution in Marriage. Journal of Family Psychology, 18(1), 72–81. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.18.1.72

Fincham, F. D., & May, R. W. (2017). Prayer and forgiveness: Beyond relationship quality and extension to marriage. Journal of Family Psychology, 31(6), 734–741. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000331

Fincham, F. D., & May, R. W. (2023). Divine forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness: Which comes first? Psychology of Religion and Spirituality, 15(2), 167.  https://doi.org/10.1037/rel0000418

Krause, N., & Ellison, C. G. (2003). Forgiveness by God, Forgiveness of Others, and Psychological Well–Being in Late Life. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, 42(1), 77–93. https://doi.org/10.1111/1468-5906.00162

Lawler, K. A., Younger, J. W., Piferi, R. L., Jobe, R. L., Edmondson, K. A., & Jones, W. H. (2005). The Unique Effects of Forgiveness on Health: An Exploration of Pathways. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 28(2), 157–167. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10865-005-3665-2

Maio, G. R., Thomas, G., Fincham, F. D., & Carnelley, K. B. (2008). Unraveling the role of forgiveness in family relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(2), 307–319. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.94.2.307

May, R. W., Cooper, A. N., & Fincham, F. D. (2020). Prayer in Marriage to Improve Wellness: Relationship Quality and Cardiovascular Functioning. Journal of Religion and Health, 59(6), 2990–3003. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-019-00829-3

Mirzadeh, M., & Fallahchai, R. (2012). The relationship between forgiveness and marital satisfaction. Journal of Life Science and Biomedicine, 2(6), 278–282.

Paleari, F. G., Pelucchi, S., Regalia, C., & Fincham, F. (2014). Does marital forgiveness predict later psychological well-being? A ten-year follow-up study.  https://doi.org/10.1037/rel0000418

Paleari, F. G., Regalia, C., & Fincham, F. (2005). Marital Quality, Forgiveness, Empathy, and Rumination: A Longitudinal Analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(3), 368–378. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167204271597

Rasmussen, K. R., Stackhouse, M., Boon, S. D., Comstock, K., & Ross, R. (2019). Meta-analytic connections between forgiveness and health: The moderating effects of forgiveness-related distinctions. Psychology & Health, 34(5), 515–534. https://doi.org/10.1080/08870446.2018.1545906

Singh, H., & Sharma, U. (2018). Effect of forgiveness on psychological well-being. Indian Journal of Positive Psychology, 9(2). https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx

Tenklova, L., & Slezackova, A. (2016). Differences between self-forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness in relation to mental health. Journal of the Indian Academy of Applied Psychology, 42(2), 282.

Van Der Wal, Karremans, & Cillessen. (2016). Interpersonal Forgiveness and Psychological Well-being in Late Childhood. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 62(1), 1. https://doi.org/10.13110/merrpalmquar1982.62.1.0001

Webb, J. R., Jeter, B. R., Toussaint, L., Worthington, E., & Williams, D. R. (2015). Forgiveness and health: Scientific evidence and theories relating forgiveness to better health. http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/978-94-017-9993-5

Wulandari, I., & Megawati, F. E. (2020). The role of forgiveness on psychological well-being in adolescents: A review. 5th ASEAN Conference on Psychology, Counselling, and Humanities (ACPCH 2019), 99–103. https://doi.org/10.2991/assehr.k.200120.022