A Brief Literature Review of the Nine Principles that Establish and Maintain Successful Families

Wholesome Recreation

There is an often-quoted saying that "families that play together, stay together” and in many cases that is true. Although our desires can be impacted by a variety of factors, there is something inherent in each of us that often fuels a desire to participate in pleasurable activities. When spouses and children can participate in these activities together, it can strengthen the family. Wholesome recreation has long been examined as a factor in marital satisfaction, usually with a term similar to “shared leisure” (Holman & Jacquart, 1988). Admittedly, not all shared leisure could be considered “wholesome recreation,” but for the purpose of this literature review, the terms shared leisure and wholesome recreation may be used interchangeably.

Wholesome recreation as a couple has consistently been shown to benefit the marital relationship. For example, shared leisure has a demonstrated positive effect on marital satisfaction and sexual intimacy (Kim et al., 2021), as well as feelings of love (O’Leary et al., 2012). Specifically, couples who participate in challenging, rewarding experiences together (i.e., wholesome recreation) report higher levels of romantic love than those who do not (O’Leary et al., 2012). Wholesome recreation can be especially helpful for those couples with low income, where one such couple reported that shared leisure was “like precious gold” (p. 59), whether the couple leaves the home to participate in shared leisure or does something together at home (Moore & Henderson, 2018). Wives seem to be particularly benefited from shared leisure (Totenhagen et al., 2024). 

Another benefit of wholesome recreation in marriage is that it can help provide a smoother transition into parenthood. Claxton and Perry-Jenkins (2008) examined the role of leisure among couples as they transitioned to parenthood. They discovered that, in general, couples experience a decline in leisure time during this transition. However, couples who reported more shared leisure activity prenatally reported greater feelings of love and less conflict one year later. On the other hand, husbands who participated in higher levels of independent leisure (recreation without their spouse) prenatally reported less love and more conflict a year later (Claxton & Perry‐Jenkins, 2008). Husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, must resist the temptation to have their primary form of recreation be experiences independent of their family. Sure, it is appropriate to spend some time participating in individual wholesome recreation. However, the wholesome recreation that tends to lead to successful marriages and families is the wholesome recreation experienced together.

There are many different forms of wholesome family recreation. Researchers differentiate between what is referred to as core leisure and balance leisure. Core leisure includes leisure that is typically home-based, accessible, common, and low-cost. Balance leisure refers to less common leisure and experiences that require more time, planning, and money (Townsend et al., 2017). Both are important. An example of balance leisure is vacations. Where feasible, vacations can benefit a couple's relationship and facilitate greater cohesion and flexibility (Frei & Shaver, 2002). However, couples and families do not need extravagant experiences to benefit from wholesome recreation. Families experience higher levels of cohesion, adaptability, and functioning when they spend time together playing informal sports or yard activities, playing board or video games, sharing a meal, and even watching television together.; this is especially true when fathers are involved (Buswell et al., 2012). Technology use can certainly be a detriment to successful family life (for a review of technology and the family see Hertlein & Twist, 2019), but if used together and with prudence it can increase family connection (Padilla‐Walker et al., 2012).

The influence of family leisure may also impact families from different cultures in different ways (Hodge et al., 2017), but if spouses and parents are intentional in planning meaningful and fun activities in their family relationships, it can become one of the most impactful factors in developing a successful marriage and family (Poff et al., 2010).

References

Buswell, L., Zabriskie, R. B., Lundberg, N., & Hawkins, A. J. (2012). The Relationship Between Father Involvement in Family Leisure and Family Functioning: The Importance of Daily Family Leisure. Leisure Sciences, 34(2), 172–190. https://doi.org/10.1080/01490400.2012.652510

Claxton, A., & Perry‐Jenkins, M. (2008). No Fun Anymore: Leisure and Marital Quality Across the Transition to Parenthood. Journal of Marriage and Family, 70(1), 28–43. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00459.x

Frei, J. R., & Shaver, P. R. (2002). Respect in close relationships: Prototype definition, self-report assessment, and initial correlates. Personal Relationships, 9(2), 121–139. https://doi.org/10.1111/1475-6811.00008

Hertlein, K. M., & Twist, M. L. (2019). The Internet family: Technology in couple and family relationships. Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781351103404

Hodge, C. J., Duerden, M. D., Layland, E. K., Lacanienta, A., Goates, M. C., & Niu, X. M. (2017). The Association Between Family Leisure and Family Quality of Life: A Meta‐Analysis of Data from Parents and Adolescents. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 9(3), 328–346. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12202

Holman, T. B., & Jacquart, M. (1988). Leisure-Activity Patterns and Marital Satisfaction: A Further Test. Journal of Marriage and Family, 50(1), 69–77. https://doi.org/10.2307/352428

Kim, D., Kwon, Y., & Xin, S. (2021). The Effects of Enjoyable Couple Activity and Common Dyadic Coping on Marital Satisfaction through Mediation of Sexual Intimacy: Focusing on Urban Chinese Women in the Early Years of Marriage. Family and Environment Research, 59(1), 45–58. https://doi.org/10.6115/fer.2021.004

Moore, A. C., & Henderson, K. A. (2018). “Like precious gold”: Recreation in the lives of low-income committed couples. Journal of Leisure Research, 49(1), 46–69. https://doi.org/10.1080/00222216.2018.1457307

O’Leary, K. D., Acevedo, B. P., Aron, A., Huddy, L., & Mashek, D. (2012). Is Long-Term Love More Than A Rare Phenomenon? If So, What Are Its Correlates? Social Psychological and Personality Science, 3(2), 241–249. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550611417015

Padilla‐Walker, L. M., Coyne, S. M., & Fraser, A. M. (2012). Getting a High‐Speed Family Connection: Associations Between Family Media Use and Family Connection. Family Relations, 61(3), 426–440. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2012.00710.x

Poff, R. A., Zabriskie, R. B., & Townsend, J. A. (2010). Modeling Family Leisure and Related Family Constructs: A National Study of U.S. Parent and Youth Perspectives. Journal of Leisure Research, 42(3), 365–391. https://doi.org/10.1080/00222216.2010.11950210

Totenhagen, C. J., Li, X., Wilmarth, M. J., Archuleta, K. L., & Yorgason, J. B. (2024). Do couples who play together stay together? A longitudinal dyadic examination of shared leisure, financial distress, and relationship outcomes. Family Process, 63(1), 210–227. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12869

Townsend, J. A., Van Puymbroeck, M., & Zabriskie, R. B. (2017). The Core and Balance Model of Family Leisure Functioning: A Systematic Review. Leisure Sciences, 39(5), 436–456. https://doi.org/10.1080/01490400.2017.1333057