Example Narrative Writing #1

Here is an example of narrative writing. This is an example of a final draft, but it does not always mean that the writing is perfect. Some errors may be included for your teacher to talk about with the class.

A Tragedy with a Good Ending (Paragraph)

     I tested the theory that “the most painful things are the ones that teach you the most” the day when I broke one of my toes. I was 8 years old, and I was at the birthday party of a friend with one of my older sisters. One of the kids was extremely interested in a rock on the ground. The rock was huge! The boy decided to lift that heavy rock, but he couldn’t hold all of that weight. The rock fell on my foot, and I started to scream. My sister could hear my scream, so she came and tried to help me. She took off my shoe, and I was bleeding so bad. Everyone was in shock because my white sock was completely red. After a couple of minutes, my mom arrived and we went to the hospital. The doctors were able to save my toe, and eventually I could go home. My older sister was waiting at home for me, and she received me with so much love and helped me a lot. After all this traumatic story I learned that my sister really loves me and that I can always count on her. Sometimes she acts like my mother and that’s a little annoying, but I appreciate it. I’m always going to protect her, and I know she’s always going to do the same. We’re always going to do it no matter what happens, because that’s what sisters should do.

A Tragedy with a Good Ending (Essay)

     I tested the theory that “the most painful things are the ones that teach you the most” the day when I broke one of my toes. I was 8 years old, and I was at the birthday party of a friend with one of my older sisters. All of us were kids, and the favorite thing of every kid is to go outside, explore, and play games. So, we went outside to have fun. We were playing games, laughing, and running, so after so much playing I felt tired. Because of that, I decided to take a rest, and I went to see one of the guests who was extremely interested in an object that was on the floor. 

     Like every child in this world, I was curious. I really wanted to know what he was looking at, so I went to his side, and I realized that he was looking at a rock on the ground. The rock was huge, and that boy wanted to impress the only spectator he had, so he decided to try to lift that heavy rock. That was the worst decision ever because, as I expected, the rock was too heavy for him, so he couldn’t hold that weight anymore, and the rock fell. Unfortunately, I was standing so close to him, and when he lost control of the situation, the rock fell on my foot. I lost my balance, I fell to the ground, and I started to scream.

     Since my sister was nearby, she could hear my scream, so she came to me and tried to help me to stand up. Even with her help I couldn’t stand up, so she carried me in her arms. She ordered some kids to run and tell everything to my friend’s parents. They called my mom on the phone while my sister was taking off my shoe, and I was bleeding so bad. Everyone was in shock because my white sock was completely red. I didn’t want to see my foot until my mom came for me. After a couple of minutes, my mom arrived, and I remember she was so nervous. I tried to be calm even after seeing my foot covered in blood to help her to be calm, but it didn’t work. Then we went to the hospital, and I can only remember that doctors were giving me a lot of exams, and they thought that maybe they would have to amputate my toe. Fortunately, they were able to save my toe, and I could go home.

     When I came back home, my older sister was waiting for me, and she received me with so much love. She was so worried about me, and she was offering me her help all the time. She was so nice to me that day, but the best part was the next day, when the boy who dropped the stone on my foot came to my home to say sorry. That was the best part because, several days later, I learned that my sister had hit him and threatened him because she wanted him to go and apologize to me. I know that violence isn’t good, but it was so tender to me that my sister wanted to defend me.

     After all this tragedy, my sister and I became the best sisters and friends. Before that we were always fighting, and we didn’t have the best relationship. Therefore, after all this traumatic story I learned that my sister really loves me, that she is the person who protects me the most after my parents, that she really cares about me, and that I can always count on her. Now I know that she’s capable of doing anything for me. Even until now, we continue to have a beautiful relationship. Sometimes she acts like my mother and that’s a little annoying, but I appreciate it. I’m always going to protect her, and I know she’s always going to do the same. We’re always going to do it no matter what happens, because that’s what sisters should do.

Exercises

Exercise 1: Identify the parts of a paragraph

Read the example writing to complete this exercise. Answer the following questions about the example writing.

  1. Label the topic sentence (TS), the supporting sentences (SS), and the concluding sentence (CS).
  2. Circle the hook (if there is one).
  3. What is the general topic of the paragraph? What is the controlling idea?
  4. Do each of the supporting ideas connect to the topic sentence?
  5. Do you think the concluding sentence for this paragraph is strong? Why or why not?

Exercise 2: Identify the parts of an essay

Read the example writing to complete this exercise. Answer the following questions about the example writing.

  1. Label the introduction (I), the body paragraphs (BP), and the conclusion (C).
  2. Circle the hook.
  3. Underline the topic sentences.
  4. Do each of the paragraphs connect to the thesis?
  5. How does the essay-length narrative compare to the paragraph-level narrative?
  6. Do you prefer the paragraph or the essay? Why?


here

This content is provided to you freely by BYU-I Books.

Access it online or download it at https://books.byui.edu/foundations_c_writing/example_essay_1.