“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise.”

Proverbs 19:20

Conversation gives life to interpersonal relationships. Like the air you breathe in and out, there are two important parts to conversation: listening and presenting. This week you will explore these two important phases of the communication model, acting as both sender (using verbal and nonverbal communication) and receiver of messages (using listening). 

Listening 

Modern-day prophet Russell M. Nelson (1991) taught that “The time to listen is when someone needs to be heard.”¹

Listening is making sense of others’ messages. Listening is a learned process and skill that you can improve with effort. Improving your listening skills can benefit you in academic, professional, personal, and community contexts.

Process of Listening

The stages of listening include hearing, attending, understanding, retaining, and responding to messages. You can miss a message’s meaning by missing any of these stages.

Hearing

Listening and hearing aren’t the same thing. Hearing is the physiological stage of listening as sound waves hit the eardrum, sending vibrations to the brain. However, it is only one part of the process of listening. Environmental noise such as other people talking, sounds of traffic, or even music can interfere with the physical aspects of hearing. 

Attending

You choose whether to focus on a message by attending, or paying close attention, to it. If you hear something but don’t attend to it, you probably aren’t listening. Hearing is physiological, but attending is psychological. It is impossible to pay attention to everything you hear. You might spend up to 80 percent of your day listening, but only half of that time paying attention, and you’ll likely remember less than 25 percent of what you hear.² Psychological noise, like stress and distracting thoughts, can interfere with the mental processes of attending. 

Understanding 

You hear the message, and choose to pay attention to the message, but then you must make sense of the message. You make sense of the message through understanding. This involves evaluating messages, comparing them to past experiences, and deciding whether the information is important. 

Retaining 

Retaining is remembering. If you retain information when you listen, then you learn. You will be able to respond to the message and recall the information later. If you have a poor memory, it may be that you have trouble listening. Memory depends on attending to and understanding the message. If you want to retain more of the information you hear, consider the “noise” that might be interfering with each stage of the listening process. You can enhance your ability to retain by trying to minimize environmental and psychological noise.

Responding

Responding is when you give observable feedback to the speaker. You nod, smile,  or say “yes.” Communication is a transaction, or an agreement between two or more people, and responding as part of listening allows the sender to receive feedback as part of that transaction.  

You can provide verbal and nonverbal feedback while another person is talking and after they are finished. Back-channel cues (or signs) are the verbal and nonverbal signals you send while others are talking and can consist of verbal cues like “uh-huh,” “oh,” and “right,” and/or nonverbal cues like direct eye contact, head nods, and leaning forward. Back-channel cues are a form of positive feedback that indicates you are actively listening. Some people use back-channel cues to appear attentive when they are not actually listening. This is called pseudo-(or fake) listening. Sometimes people’s cues indicate they aren’t listening. For example, if another person is looking away, fidgeting, or texting, you will likely conclude they are not listening.

Paraphrasing is a responding behavior that can show that you understand what was communicated. When you paraphrase information, you rephrase the message into your own words. For example, you begin to paraphrase by saying, “What I heard you say was…” or “It seems like you’re saying….” You can also ask further probing questions to get more information. You can connect a paraphrase with a probing question to keep a conversation flowing. For example, you might ask the following paraphrase and question pair: “It seems like you believe you were treated poorly. Is that right?” Or you might ask a question like “What did your boss do that made you think he was ‘playing favorites?’” Make sure to paraphrase or ask questions once a person’s conversational turn is over because interrupting can be interpreted as a sign of not listening.

Barriers to Effective Listening

Barriers to effective listening are present at every stage of the listening process. At the hearing stage, noise can block or distort messages. At the understanding stage, complex information may be difficult to relate to previous experiences, making it difficult to reach understanding. At the retaining stage, natural limits to your memory and concentration challenges can interfere with you remembering. Personal biases and prejudices can lead you to block people out or assume you know what they are going to say. At the responding stage, a lack of paraphrasing and questioning skills can lead to misunderstanding. Environmental and physical factors, cognitive and personal factors, and bad listening practices present barriers to effective listening.

Are you guilty of ineffective listening? Consider these examples:

• Pseudolistening: giving the appearance of listening but your mind is somewhere else 
• Stage-hogging: turning the conversation toward you instead of showing interest to the speaker
• Selective listening: responding only to the parts of conversation that interest you
• Insulated listening: avoiding topics that make you uncomfortable or uneasy
• Ambushing: listening to collect information to verbally attack the speaker
• Insensitive listening: listening on the surface but missing important emotional information not expressed directly. 

Environmental and Physical Barriers to Listening

Environmental factors such as lighting, temperature, and even furniture affect your ability to listen. A room that is too dark can make you sleepy, just as a room that is too warm or cool can raise awareness of your physical discomfort to the point that it is distracting. Some seating arrangements bring people together, while others separate them. In general, listening is easier when listeners are physically near a speaker and can make direct eye contact. 

Physiological noise, like environmental noise, can interfere with your ability to process information. This is considered a physical barrier to effective listening because it comes from your physical body. Ailments or illnesses such as a cold, broken leg, headache, or rash can range from annoying to painful and impact your listening depending on the intensity. Another type of noise, psychological noise, bridges physical and cognitive barriers to effective listening. Stress about an event (losing a job, needing to have surgery, wondering what to eat) can also seem more important than new messages. Remember, the body and mind are not completely separate. They interact in ways that interfere with listening. Being tired, for example, is usually a combination of psychological and physiological noise that manifests as stress (psychological noise) and sleepiness (physiological noise). Additionally, mental anxiety (psychological noise) can also show itself in your body through trembling, sweating, blushing, or even breaking out in rashes (physiological noise).

Mental Barriers to Listening

Mental limits can also interfere with listening. Perhaps you are multitasking or daydreaming when you are supposed to be listening. Think of your listening mind as a wall of ten televisions. You may notice that in some situations five of the ten televisions are tuned into one channel. If that one channel is a lecture being given by your professor, then you are using about half of your processing abilities on one message. Imagine what happens when all ten televisions are on different channels! 

You can process information from more than one source at a time, but this actually creates a barrier to effective listening. People speak at a rate of 125 to 175 words per minute, but you can process between 400 and 800 words per minute. This gap between speech rate and thought rate allows you to side-process any number of thoughts that can distract you from listening. Because of this gap, it is impossible to give one message your “undivided attention,” but (with practice) you can occupy other channels in your mind with thoughts related to the central message. For example, you can use some of your extra mental processing abilities to repeat, rephrase, or reorganize messages to reinforce the primary message.

If you aren't actively focused on the sender's message, your personal concerns might take you away from listening and challenge your ability to concentrate. Two common barriers are self-centeredness and lack of motivation. For example, you may be too busy thinking about how you look, how you’re sitting, or what others think of you to be focused on an incoming message. Additionally, most people are challenged when presented with messages that they do not find personally relevant. You employ selective attention, which refers to the tendency to pay attention to the messages that benefit you in some way and filter others out. The student checking his/her social media feed during class may suddenly switch attention back to the previously ignored professor when the following words are spoken: “This will be important for the exam.”

Another common barrier to effective listening is response preparation. Response preparation refers to the tendency to practice what you are going to say next while a speaker is still talking. Rehearsing what you will say once a speaker’s turn is over takes place between the recalling and evaluation or the evaluation and responding stages. Rehearsal becomes a problem when response preparation begins as someone is receiving a message and hasn’t had time to engage in interpretation or recall. In this sense, you are listening to respond instead of to understand. This is problematic and can lead you to miss important information.

Improving Listening Competence

You can develop competence within each stage of the listening process, as the following list indicates. As you read these strategies, imagine you are about to interview someone for an assignment. What you could do for each step to ensure you are listening with competence? 

  Hearing

• Prepare yourself to listen. Get rid of distractions.  
• Discern between intentional messages and noise. 

 Attending

• Concentrate on your listening purpose(s) and goal(s).  
• Pay attention to turn-taking signals so you can follow the conversation flow.
• Avoid interrupting someone.

 Understanding

• Indentify main points and supporting points.
• Use contextual clues from the person or environment to understand meaning. 
• Be aware of how relalational, cultural, or situational context can influence meaning.
• Note the differences in tone of voice that influence meaning.

 Retaining

• Use multiple senses to decode messages and make more complete memories.
• Repeat, rephrase, and reorganize information to fit your mental preferences.

 Responding

• Ask appropriate follow-up questions and paraphrase information to check understanding.
• Give feedback or more information that is relevant to the speaker's reason for speaking.
• Adapt your response to the speaker and context.
• Do not let the preparation or rehearsal of your response diminish earlier stages of listening. 

Listening in Professional Contexts

Listening is a vital skill in business. Effective listening skills have been shown to enhance sales performance. Managers who exhibit good listening skills help create open communication climates that can lead to increased feelings of supportiveness, motivation, and productivity.⁴

Part of being an effective listener in business is to have empathy (to understand and share the feelings of another) and be an active listener. Empathetic listening is being aware of and understanding the speaker’s feelings and emotions as well as the words they are using. Active listening is the process of pairing outwardly visible positive listening behaviors with positive cognitive listening practices.  

Empathetic listening and active listening play key roles in organizational communication. Managers are wise to enhance their empathetic listening skills. Empathizing with employees contributes to a positive communication climate where employees can share. Active listeners in business promote involvement and increase motivation, which leads to more connection with others and enhances the communication climate.

Positive listening environments are more employee-centered, which can improve job satisfaction. Consider how  these environments might be created: 

• reducing noise within the business 
• creating a shared reality through shared language or even a shared vision statement
• creating intentional spaces that promote listening
• providing official opportunities that promote listening
• training all employees in more effective listening skills
• modeling and praising good listening practices from organization leaders.⁵

Listening Summary

Ineffective listening can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, missed opportunities, and even economic losses. Simple listening mistakes in the workforce can cause billions of dollars lost in revenue. It can cause missed meetings or production lines to be shut down.

On the other hand, effective listening can lead to stronger relationships and more connection with others. Talk less. Get rid of distractions. Don’t judge. Look for key ideas. As a receiver in the communication model, you have power over the success of a message. 

Verbal Communication

You likely spend much of your day engaged in verbal communication. You receive instructions at work or school, send emails and texts, post on social media, and talk to friends—all tasks that involve verbal communication. 

Verbal communication is using words to share information with other people. Language is a system of words guided by rules and is your primary form of communication. Words themselves are used to create messages that have socially shared meaning. ⁶

The relationship between language and meaning is not a straightforward one. One reason for this challenging relationship is the limitlessness of language. Consider this: there are millions of utterances you can make by connecting existing words in new ways. There is no limit to a language’s vocabulary, as new words are created daily. With all this possibility, how does communication generate meaning?

Language is often the most common way to communicate a message but isn’t necessarily the most powerful form of communication. Words themselves don’t have meanings, people do. Words are just symbols. You use your language to express yourself consciously, but language itself is arbitrary. Words have specific and precise meanings but there is denotative and connotative meaning to every word.

Denotation and Connotation

Denotation refers to definitions that are accepted by the language group as a whole, or the dictionary definition of a word. For example, the denotation of the word change is "to alter or modify." Another denotation is "to replace something with something else." Connotation refers to definitions that are emotion-based or experience-based associations people have with a word. For example, the word "change" can have positive or negative connotations depending on a person’s experiences. A person who just ended a long-term relationship may think of "change" as good or bad depending on what he or she thought about his or her former partner. Someone who has recently been fired might see change as negative. 

Think Before You Speak

Remember, you think much faster than you speak. You have the chance to think about what you want to say before you say it. Anticipate how your message may be interpreted before you speak. Ask for clarification when you’re communicating with others. Don’t be afraid to check your interpretation of what words mean. 

Language is one of your primary forms of communication, but it can also be a problem because language is arbitrary. Words can be interpreted in multiple ways. You might experience a breakdown in your communication because of the words you choose. Just because you know what you mean doesn’t mean the message will be perceived the same way you intended. 

Use the Right Words

Have you ever been lost because someone gave you directions that didn’t make sense to you? Have you ever puzzled over the instructions for how to put something together? When people don’t use words well, there are consequences, ranging from mild annoyances to legal actions. Learn how to use words better by communicating clearly. 

• Use concrete words (words that can be measured or observed like "30 degrees," "dark green," or "sun") to make new concepts or ideas relevant to the experience of your listeners.
• Use an appropriate level of vocabulary. Make your goal in speaking to get the message across, not to impress with big words. It is usually obvious when people are trying to speak at a level that is out of their comfort zone, which can hurt believability.
• Avoid “inflating” your language. Don’t say, “It is ever apparent,” when you can just say, “It’s clear.”
• Paint mental images for your listeners. Take them to places outside of the immediate setting through rich descriptions using their senses.
• Use repetition to emphasize or focus on key ideas. 
• When giving a formal speech, record yourself practicing and listen to your words. Have your outline with you and take note of areas that need to be reworked and edited before you deliver the speech.

The level of clearness with which you speak likely depends on the audience, the situation you’re in, and your own intentions. You can make efforts to be more clear using nonverbal skills like slowing your rate or increasing your volume. You can be precise by picking your words and order of instructions. Even with all that effort, you might not send the message you intend, depending on the receiver’s perceptions. It's important to try your best. 

Nonverbal Communication ⁷

Nonverbal communication is communication without words. It fills in and complements the words you speak. Your body and behavior convey messages. It can be observed using all five senses.  

You’ve probably heard that more meaning is generated from nonverbal communication than from verbal. For example, if a classmate delivers a speech in class and her verbal content seems well-researched and unbiased, but her nonverbal communication is poor (her voice is monotone, she avoids eye contact, she fidgets), she will likely not be viewed as believable. Verbal and nonverbal communication are two parts of the same system. Nonverbal communication conveys meaning by reinforcing, substituting, or contradicting verbal communication. 

Nonverbal communication reinforces (deepens) verbal communication. For example, gestures help describe a space or shape in ways that words alone cannot, like pointing to the door when you tell someone to leave. Facial expressions reinforce emotional states, like smiling while telling a funny story. Vocal variation emphasizes part of a message, like saying “How was your weekend?” conveys a different meaning than “How was your weekend?”

Nonverbal communication also substitutes (fills in) for verbal communication. Babies make facial expressions to show meaning even if they don't speak.⁸ If you don't speak the local language when you travel, pointing or demonstrating can communicate your needs in basic interactions. Nonverbal communication is useful in a quiet situation where verbal communication would be disturbing. For example, you may use a gesture to signal to a friend that you’re ready to leave a place. Crowded or loud places can also stop verbal communication and lead people to rely more on nonverbal messages. Getting a server’s attention with a hand gesture is definitely more polite than yelling, “Hey you!” There are also times when it’s better not to say something aloud. For example, if you want to point out a person’s unusual clothes or signal to a friend, you’re probably more likely to do that nonverbally.

Nonverbal communication can also convey meaning by contradicting (saying the opposite of) verbal communication. People often perceive nonverbal communication to be more credible than verbal communication. This is especially true when with mixed messages, or messages in which verbal and nonverbal signals contradict each other. For example, a person may say, “You can’t do anything right!” in a mean tone but follow that up with a wink, which could indicate the person is teasing or joking. Mixed messages can lead to uncertainty and confusion and cause people to try and determine which message is more believable. If you are unable to resolve the discrepancy, you are likely to react negatively and potentially withdraw from the interaction.⁹ Persistent mixed messages can lead to relational distress and hurt a person’s reputation in professional settings.

The involuntary (without conscious control) nature of nonverbal communication makes it more difficult to fake. For example, although you can consciously smile a little and shake hands with someone when you first see them, it is difficult to fake that you’re happy to meet someone if you are not. Nonverbal communication leaks out in ways that expose your underlying thoughts or feelings. Have you ever tried to conceal your surprise or anger, or act joyful even when you weren’t? While you can consciously decide to stop sending verbal messages, your nonverbal communication always has the potential to generate meaning for another person. Verbal communication fills in the blanks sometimes left by nonverbal expressions, but people often put more trust in what others do over what they say. 

Nonverbal communication doesn’t have exact rules of grammar or order that bring structure and agreed-on patterns of use, like verbal communication. Instead, you learn patterns of nonverbal communication from your family, friends, or culture, which can lead to variance or differences. There is no nonverbal dictionary. Some nonverbal communication scholars have tried to catalog nonverbal communication, similar to verbal dictionaries. These guides contain many valid “rules” of nonverbal communication, but the rules are always relative to the individual, social, and cultural contexts. In short, you can’t read people’s nonverbal communication like a book, and there are no specific guides that capture the complexity of nonverbal communication.¹⁰ Rather than using a list of specific rules, people can develop more general tools that will be useful in and adaptable to a variety of contexts.

Nonverbal communication is made of many channels. Evaluate yourself right now and the messages you are sending as you read this list. You are always communicating, whether you notice it or not.   

Kinesics (body movements and posture)

• Gestures: arm and hand movements like scratching might indicate distraction or pointing adds to a verbal message  
• Head movements: nodding or moving your head to show agreement or interest
• Posture: slumping or standing straight can indicate your interest
• Eye contact: looking directly at someone or staring somewhere else can show attention or boredom
• Facial expressions: your forehead, eyebrows, and facial muscles can show meaning, like smiling to indicate you are happy or raising brows to indicate you have a question

Haptics (touch)

• Hugging, shaking hands, touching, or kissing all indicate the amount of closeness in the relationship
• Enhances a verbal message, like putting your hand on someone's arm or squeezing his/her hand to provide comfort 
• Watch for cultural cues -- some people do not like to be touched  

Vocalics (how you speak)

• Vocalized but not verbal parts of a message
• Notice how fast you speak, how loudly or softly you speak, or how high-pitched -- these can emphasize parts of a message or show excitement or even indicate a secret

Proxemics (space) 

• Where you stand next to another person indicates a message -- if you know that person well, you might be more comfortable standing closer
• Use of personal space also communicates a message, like a person who takes up a lot of space or has big gestures might indicate confidence while a person who is huddled into the corner of a room might indicate shyness or discomfort 

Personal presentation and environment (clothes, smell, decor, etc.)

• Objects you wear like your clothes or scent send a message
• Environment you create around you also sends a message

People have different nonverbal behaviors because of personal, cultural, and social patterns.  The more you get to know a person, the more you learn to “read” their nonverbal communication in the context of what you know about them. One person might use a wink to signal flirtation while another person might use a wink to signal “That’s a smart thing you just said.” It can be dangerous to assume you understand every nonverbal cue. However, if you know someone well, you can apply the message in context. 

If you are confused by a nonverbal behavior, start by considering what you know about the person and perhaps the verbal message associated with it. Consider how cultural context might influence their message. For example, some cultures tend toward less touching and greater interactional distance. A friend from Mexico might greet you with a kiss and a friend from Japan might greet you with a bow. Both are warm greetings, depending on the culture. Neither nonverbal is wrong, but the context of personal culture helps you understand that nonverbal message of “hello.”  You could also consider the context of your relationship with that person. A hug from a co-worker you recently met versus a familiar family member might have different meanings.  

Try to compare observed nonverbal cues to a person’s typical nonverbal behavior to help avoid misinterpretation. If you usually hold hands with your spouse in public and then suddenly he/she doesn’t want to, the change might be sending a message that your spouse is angry with you. Context helps you translate messages. Use your knowledge about specific types of nonverbal communication or draw from more general contextual knowledge.  

Communication Skills in Business Settings 

Listening, speaking, and using nonverbal communication will be skills you use nearly every day. Consider how you can improve these important skills in professional settings. 

Meeting new people, going to informal gatherings, or visiting with co-workers often involves making small talk, or sharing information with someone on the surface level.¹¹ Small talk may take place at work during breaks, or as you are getting to know a client at work. This can be an easy skill for some and a challenging skill for others. If small talk is challenging for you, start at the intrapersonal level by preparing for these occasions. 

Small talk takes place at informal gatherings like a party or meeting. This information exchange centers on biographies--information about yourself, such as your name, occupation, college major, where you were born, or slightly more personal information, like hobbies or interests, future plans, or other friends. You can say something positive about the person‘s appearance, ask for advice, or even ask questions. Small talk usually goes on for 15 minutes and then in-depth conversation starts.

Conversations are verbal interactions between people that usually start with small talk, and then move to more in-depth sharing. Conversational interaction has been likened to a dance where each person has to make moves and take turns without stepping on the other’s toes. Nonverbal communication helps you regulate your conversations so you don’t end up constantly interrupting or waiting in awkward silences between turns. Pitch, which is a part of vocalics, helps you cue others into your conversational intentions. In English, a rising pitch typically indicates a question and a falling pitch indicates the end of a thought or the end of a conversational turn. You can use a falling pitch to indicate you are done speaking like on a phone conversation to indicate it is time to end. 

You can also signal your turn speaking is coming to an end by stopping hand gestures and shifting your eye contact to the person who you think will speak next.¹² You can get your point across with nonverbal signals even when you’re not exactly sure what you’re going to say next. Repeating a hand gesture, or using one or more verbal fillers, can extend your turn to communicate even though you are not verbally communicating at the moment.

Paraphrasing and questioning are useful techniques for listening in conversation because they allow you to respond to a speaker without taking the attention away for long. Specifically, probing questions that ask for more information act as “verbal door openers,” in inviting others to speak more. Those who ask questions help others feel validated through their speech. Using active listening cues can help a person feel heard.¹² Paraphrasing and asking questions are also useful strategies to use when you feel tempted to share your own stories and experiences rather than maintaining a listening role. These questions aren’t intended to get more information. They help guide or direct the speaker toward a specific course of action. 

Interviews are more structured conversations where one participant asks questions and the other provides answers. If you are in a work situation, small talk may begin the interview. However, in business contexts, people quickly get to the point of their interactions due to time constraints and corporate protocol. 

Tips for Being Interviewed

1. Be prepared before you go. Research the position and organization. Review your application and resume. Practice answering questions.  

2. Arrive early and dress professionally. This is a nonverbal indication that you are taking the interview seriously.

3. Listen carefully to the questions asked before responding. 

4. Be aware of your body language.

Tips for Conducting a Successful Interview

If you haven't already, you will have an opportunity to conduct an interview, whether it's an informal visit or for a job or in a church setting. These strategies can help you to get the information you need.  

1. Prepare for the interview. Communicate important details to everyone involved like purpose, time, and place. If the interview is online, make sure your link and technology (microphone, speakers, internet) work. Set goals for what you want to learn in the interview and prepare questions ahead of time to meet those goals. If you can, research the person being interviewed to save time and give you context. It's a good idea to write out a list of questions and order them, so the other person doesn’t feel like he/she is being interrogated. Start with easy questions to help the other person feel comfortable. 
2. Be an empathetic listener. Be aware of the other person throughout the interview. Notice nonverbal messages communicated. Does the other person appear nervous? How can you adapt your communication to help him/her feel more comfortable? Pay attention to their feelings or emotions.   
3. Consider your mannerisms. Your posture, gestures, proximity, greetings, and so much more convey important messages. Pay attention to what messages you are sending and try to be intentional to show you are listening (nod, smile, lean forward). The person being interviewed will respond to your communication, whether it is intentional or not.  
4. Give your attention. After you ask each question, wait for an answer. Be an active listener. Remember, your brain can understand more messages than what the listener is sharing. Choose to focus on the interview rather than on what you are going to say next or other matters that can wait till the interview is over.  

A skilled interviewer will be prepared, empathetic, interested, and attentive during an interview and use probing questions to get the information needed. Consider how you can be more prepared for your next interview--or any time you need to listen actively.  

“Hear Him”

Words have great power. The Book of Mormon teaches “… the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else” (Alma 31:5). 

The power of listening is the ability to connect people, both with those on earth and with your spiritual relationships. President Nelson (1991) taught, “Above all, God’s children should learn to listen, then listen to learn from the Lord. On several sacred occasions in the world’s history, Heavenly Father has personally appeared to introduce His divine Son with a specific charge to “hear him”.¹³ Consider these five questions posed by Craig Bell (2009) in a BYU-Idaho devotional as you ponder what listening means to you: 

1. What is the difference between listening and hearing? Are they the same?

2. Why is a message about listening important to me at this time?

3. How is listening related to learning?

4. What impact does listening have upon building meaningful relationships with others?

5. What can I do to become a better listener to more fully become a disciple of Jesus Christ?
   

   Vocabulary List

   Active listening
   Process of pairing outwardly visible positive listening behaviors with positive cognitive listening practices.
   Attending
   Psychological stage in listening process when we decide what to focus our attention on.
   Back-channel cues
   Verbal and nonverbal signals we send while someone is talking to show we are engaged like verbal cues of “uh-huh,” “oh,” and “right,” and/or nonverbal cues like direct eye contact, head nods, and leaning forward.
   Connotation
   Definitions of words that are based on emotion- or experience-based associations people have with a word.
   Denotation
   Dictionary definition of a word.
   Empathetic listening
   Being aware of and understanding the speaker’s feelings and emotions as well as the words they are using.
   Haptics
   Touch behaviors that convey meaning during interactions.
   Hearing
   First stage in the listening process when we process incoming feedback and new messages physiologically.
   Interviews
   More structured conversations where one participant asks questions and the other provides answers.
   Kinesics
   Body movements and posture.
   Language
   The system of words guided by rules as our primary form of communication.
   Listening
   Making sense of others’ messages.
   Listening process
   Hearing, attending, understanding, responding, and remembering messages.
   Listening environment
   Characteristics and norms of an organization and its members that contribute to expectations for and perceptions about listening.
   Mirroring
   A listener’s replication of the nonverbal signals of a speaker.
   Mixed messages
   Messages in which verbal and nonverbal signals contradict each other.
   Nonverbal communication
   Communication without words; much of our day-to-day communication that substitutes and complements the words we speak.
   Paralanguage
   Process of reinforcing the meaning of verbal communication, allows us to emphasize particular parts of a message or can contradict verbal messages.
   Paraphrasing
   Responding in a way to show that you understand what was communicated.
   Personal presentation and environment
   How the objects we adorn ourselves with and our surroundings create meaning from our physical environment.
   Probing questions
   Open-ended questions that nudge prospects toward revealing more information about their situation.
   Proxemics
   The use of space and distance within communication.
   Retaining
   Stage in the listening process connecting a message to memory.
   Responding
   Stage in the listening process where you indicate your involvement.
   Response preparation
   Rehearsing what you are going to say next while a speaker is still talking.
   Selective attention
   Focusing your attention while ignoring distractions.
   Small talk
   Sharing information with someone on the surface level.
   Understanding
   Stage in the listening process when we combine the visual and auditory information we receive and try to make meaning out of that information.
   Verbal communication
   Using words to share information with other people.
   Words
   Symbols used to create messages that have common meaning.
   Vocalics
   The vocalized but not verbal aspects of nonverbal communication, including our speaking rate, pitch, volume, tone of voice, and vocal quality.
   

   Attribution: All definitions were taken from the Oxford Dictionary

Study Tips

• Make flashcards with physical materials.
• Use flashcard apps—quizlet.com is a good example of an application that allows you to make your own flashcards.
• Read the assignments and try to understand what the words mean. The reading assignments for this week include the words you are required to study.

¹ Russell M. Nelson, “Listen to Learn,” General Conference, April 1991

² Berko, R. Rosenfeld, L., & Samovar, L. (1997). Connecting: A culture-sensitive approach to interpersonal communication competency. (2nd ed.) Fort Worth, TX, Harcourt Brace College Publishers, p. 100.

³ Ridge (1993) Communication in the Real World: Chapter 5.1 Understanding How and Why We Listen

⁴ Flynn, J., Tuula-Riitta Valikoski, and Jennie Grau, “Listening in the Business Context: Reviewing the State of Research,” The International Journal of Listening 22 (2008): 143.

⁵ Brownell, J., “Listening Environment: A Perspective,” in Perspectives on Listening, eds. Andrew D. Wolvin and Carolyn Gwynn Coakley (Norwood, NJ: Alex Publishing Corporation, 1993), 245.

⁶ Tracey L. Smith, Mary Tague-Busler, and Starla Herbig. The Key to Survival, 5th ed, Waveland Press Ink, Longgrove, Ill.

⁷ Communication in the Real World: Chapter 4.1 Principles and Functions of Nonverbal Communication

⁸ Oster, H., Douglas Hegley, and Linda Nagel, “Adult Judgments and Fine-Grained Analysis of Infant Facial Expressions: Testing the Validity of A Priori Coding Formulas,” Developmental Psychology 28, no. 6 (1992): 1115–31.

⁹ Hargie, O., Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice, 5th ed. (London: Routledge, 2011), 47.

¹⁰ DePaulo, P. J., “Applications of Nonverbal Behavior Research in Marketing and Management,” Applications of Nonverbal Behavior Theories and Research, ed. Robert S. Feldman (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 1992), 64.

¹¹ Roy Berko, Joen E. Aitken, Andrew Wolvin, 2010, IComm: Interpersonal Concepts and Competencies, Rowman and Littlefield Publications, New York, New York, 345

¹² Hargie, O., Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice, 5th ed. (London: Routledge, 2011), 81.

¹³ Russell M. Nelson, “Listen to Learn,” General Conference, April 1991