“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Ephesians 4:29

Why Study Communication

Communication is a gift from God. This important gift allows you to have relationships, understand yourself, and develop a connection with Heavenly Father. You can improve all of your relationships by improving your skills as a communicator. 

L. Lionel Kendrick (1988), a special witness of Jesus Christ, taught that "we will be held accountable for all that we say. The Savior has warned ‘that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment’ (Matt. 12:36). This means that no communication shall be without consequence.”¹  It's important that you take responsibility for your words and the influence they have on others. You will learn that there's not "good" or "bad" communication but "effective" or "ineffective" communication--and this text will help you learn strategies to be more effective. 

Being a good communicator is not the same as being a good talker. Great communicators must also be great listeners. Communication—the way you speak and listen to yourself and others—requires your effort and is a learned skill, even though you have been communicating since birth. Everyone can improve. 

As you learn and practice more effective communication, you will better learn who you are and understand others as well. As you begin your study to learn more about communication, consider reasons why you personally need to study this topic. 

Gain Perspective

Unless you are in a public speaking class or actively listening to your friends’ opinions, you probably do not get a lot of feedback on the quality of your communication. As you read and reflect, take time to think about your skills and see where you need to improve. Many people think they are excellent communicators but never ask for others’ opinions. In this book, you will learn about different kinds of communication from different perspectives that will help you understand a broader view of what it means to be an effective communicator. 

Make Communication More Worthwhile 

Think about your daily routine. Your day likely involves a lot of face-to-face communication, texting, or social media. Much of your time is spent communicating with others. Make that time more worthwhile. 

Communication increases the effectiveness of your relationships. Marriages, friendships, and work relationships often fail because of poor communication.⁵ People with poor communication skills often do not know how to work through problems, which can lead to anger, hostility, and even violence. On the other hand, effective communication can help relationships work through conflict. Think about all the relationships that you have with friends, family, coworkers, and significant others. One of the goals of this course is to help you be more successful in those relationships. 

Meet Your Needs

You use communication to meet your needs. Consider the many ways you use messages each day to get what you want. 

• PROVIDE. You use words to purchase food or make business deals to earn money. 
• CONNECT. You send text messages to make plans or use social media to connect with others. 
• EXPRESS YOURSELF. You cry or laugh to express feelings or needs to others. 
• LEARN. You read to learn and improve yourself. 
• PARENT. You remind children to brush their teeth or wear warm clothes to protect them. 
• SHOW LOVE. You say, “I love you,” and, “Have a good day,” to show you care about those in your life. 
• THINK. You talk to yourself in your mind throughout the day, reminding yourself of what you need to do next. 
• PRAY. You pray to God, knowing He will hear you, and you listen for personal revelation. 

Communication helps you meet your physical, social, spiritual, and personal needs. Without it, you simply could not thrive. Learning how to be direct (and polite) with your needs allows you to get what you want in life. 

Succeed at Work

Workplaces rely on communication as part of group collaboration. Important business communication skills include learning how to work with co-workers, supervise others, follow instructions, run meetings, problem-solve as a team, interview for a new job, send clear written messages through email, and connect with clients. Poor communication within a workplace can result in loss of profits and even failed businesses. Studies have shown a link between career success and communication skills.⁶ Listening skills are especially important. In one study, executives were asked which skills were most important on the job, and the skill of listening was valued over computer skills, creativity, technical competence, and even leadership.⁷

Improve Your Health

Many health problems are stress-induced, and communication offers a way to relieve this tension and address some of those physical symptoms. When people keep their feelings bottled up, they are more likely to suffer emotionally, mentally, and physically.⁸ Adler, Rosenfeld, and Proctor (2007) found that communication has been beneficial in avoiding/decreasing the following:⁹

• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Coronary problems
• Common cold

Consider how better communication might help you feel less stress in your life. 

Learn Who You Are 

Communication is not only essential for you to thrive and live, but it is also important to discover who you are. From a very young age, you were probably told or shown things by others about your physical appearance, talents, or personality. These kinds of comments help you define yourself. 

Think about all the comments you have been told in your life. Were they hurtful comments or helpful comments? Did they make you stronger or weaker? Your belief about who you are may be based largely on the way others interact with you and the words they say to you. In other words, your perceptions of others’ behavior influence your self-concept.

Improve Socially

Relationships exist because of communication. Each time you talk to someone else, you are sharing a part of yourself. People maintain relationships because of conversations that they have.¹⁰ Think about all the relationships that you have and how communication differs in each of those relationships. If you stop talking to the people you care about, what would happen to those relationships?

Grow

As you reflect on each of these reasons to study communication, where do you think you might need to improve? Is it in the workplace? Do you want stronger friendships? Do you lack the skills to express yourself to get what you need? Do you know who you really are?

Think about your communication goals honestly. Very few times in life will you have the chance to think about your relationships, self-esteem, and personal communication. Take this opportunity to learn about yourself and how you will use communication to improve your life.  

Communication Defined

Communication is the process of generating meaning and creating relationships by sending and receiving verbal (spoken or written words) and nonverbal (not spoken) messages that are influenced by contexts. This definition builds on over 126 other definitions of communication that have been published over the past hundred years. Communication is the process of thinking, feeling, sending and receiving messages, and bringing ideas and people together. It can be conscious, like asking for a raise in wages at work, or unconscious, like rolling your eyes when you are annoyed that your boss asked you to work later than usual. Communication is also dynamic, which means it never stops and is always in a state of change. You are always processing ideas and information, if not to others, to yourself.

Basic Communication Model

Communication is a complex process, making it difficult to determine where or with whom a communication encounter starts and ends. Communication experts have created models to simplify and freeze the communication process. This helps clarify what happens in a communication encounter through its visual representation.  

Participants are the senders and/or receivers of messages in a communication encounter. 

The message is the verbal or nonverbal content being conveyed from sender to receiver. For example, when you say, “Hello!” to your friend, you are sending a message of greeting that will be received by your friend.

Encoding is the process of turning thoughts into communication. You choose symbols like words or gestures to create your message. 

Decoding is the process of turning communication into thoughts. For example, you may realize you’re hungry and encode the following message to send to your roommate: “I’m hungry. Do you want to get pizza tonight?” As your roommate receives the message, he decodes your communication and turns it back into thoughts to make meaning out of it. 

Encoded messages are sent through a channel, or a sensory route, on which a message travels to the receiver for decoding. While communication can be sent and received using any sensory route (sight, smell, touch, taste, or sound), most communication occurs through visual (sight) and/or auditory (sound) channels.

The communication model appears to be linear, but communication is more circular because both communicators are sending messages back and forth. Miscommunication can occur when there is noise. Noise is anything that interferes with a message being sent between participants in a communication encounter. Even if a speaker sends a clear message, noise may interfere with a message being accurately received and decoded. Effective communicators find ways to adapt and respond to noise. 

Types of Noise

Environmental noise is anything that is produced outside your body that might distract you from hearing a message, like the sound of a nearby train, someone laughing loudly, children playing, or people arguing. External noise could also be a hot room, an itchy shirt, or a hard chair that makes you feel uncomfortable and distracts you from focusing on the message. 

Humans are also distracted by what’s happening within the mind. Psychological noise occurs when your internal dialogue is so loud you can’t hear any other message. Have you ever found yourself worrying about something or daydreaming while someone is trying to talk to you? You may be in a quiet room without distraction, but there could be a lot going on inside your mind. 

Internal physiological noise can also be distracting. It is hard to focus when you feel ill or have a headache. You might think more about your growling stomach when you are hungry or your dry throat when you are thirsty than what someone is saying. Concentrating can also be difficult when you are tired. 

Semantic noise refers to noise that occurs in the encoding and decoding process when you do not understand. This can happen when doctors or technicians use terms that you don’t understand. Semantic noise can occur with two people speaking different languages, or even between people speaking the same language because many words have multiple or unfamiliar meanings. 

Another barrier to communication can be cultural noise.  Culture is the rules for living and functioning in society, and your cultural experiences include your gender, race, nationality, religion, age, socio-economic status, and so much more. Your culture can bias you and make it challenging to understand someone of another culture if you don’t take the time to try to understand. Cultural experiences greatly influence how you respond to a message. For example, people in some cultures do not shake hands, while people in others might be offended if someone refuses to shake hands. Some cultures kiss on the cheek as a greeting while people in other cultures bow.

Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Communication

Interpersonal and intrapersonal communication are two kinds of communication.

Interpersonal communication is communication between people whose lives mutually influence one another. Interpersonal communication builds, maintains, and ends your relationships.

Interpersonal communication can be planned or unplanned, but since it is interactive, it is usually more structured and influenced. Since this form of communication deals so directly with personal relationships and is the most common form of communication, instances of communication conflict most frequently occur here. Couples, bosses employees, and family members all have to engage in complex interpersonal communication, and it doesn’t always go well. Competent interpersonal communication requires conflict management skills and listening skills, among others, to maintain positive relationships.

Intrapersonal communication is communication with oneself using internal self-talk or reflective thinking. Like other forms of communication, intrapersonal communication is triggered by internal or external hints. You may, for example, communicate with yourself about what you want to eat due to the external feeling of hunger, or you may react intrapersonally to an event you witness. Unlike other forms of communication, intrapersonal communication takes place only inside your head. So, what is the point of intrapersonal communication if no one else is aware of it?

Competent intrapersonal communication helps facilitate your social interaction and can enhance your well-being. “Self-talk” is used as a way to help you make decisions or make sense of the world around you. Intrapersonal communication serves several social functions:

• Helps you maintain relationships as you consider internally what the other person might be saying or need
• Helps you form an understanding of who you are based on how other people communicate with you
• Helps you let off steam, process emotions, think through something, or plan to say or do in the future to other people through self-talk

Communication Competence

You've likely noticed that this text doesn't talk about "perfect" communication. Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed method of communication that will work in every situation. Instead, the focus of improving your communication is to have communication competence, the ability to adapt your communication.

Communication that works in one context and not another depends on the culture and the characteristics of those receiving the message. The good news is that communication competence can be taught to create you more adaptable. Competent communicators have characteristics that set themselves apart from incompetent communicators. Consider these traits and areas where you have seen others excel (or fail). 

Skillful

Competent communicators use situational hints to figure out which approach might be best and how to best use their talents. Just like a cook has many ingredients to use in preparing a dish, a competent communicator possesses many skills to use depending on the situation. 

Think about a car salesperson and how he might use his skills to approach a customer. If he is too aggressive, he might lose a sale, so he watches the customer to make sure he meets her needs. 

• He could be direct, so she knows he is there to assist her. “Hi, I’m Lee, I would be happy to help you today.” 
• He could show her he's paying attention. “I see you looking at cars for families today. Are you interested in that particular model?” 
• He might let the customer know he values her opinion by asking questions. “Can you tell me more about what you are looking for?" or "Is this kind of car you like?” or "What do you like or dislike about this one?"
• He might compliment her, so she knows she is respected. "That car you are looking at is one of the best. You have excellent taste."

His skills include being direct, paying attention, asking questions, and complimenting. Some of these strategies might work better, depending on the customer. Each of these strategies illustrates how a salesperson can be skillful in meeting the customer’s expectations and, at the same time, fulfilling his own goal of helping her buy a car. Consider your own skills and how you use them depending on who you encounter.  

Adaptable

Competent communicators are adaptable to any situation. You might have seen a speaker who uses technology to make their presentations. What happens if technology fails, does the speaker perform poorly as well? Competent communicators would not let technology stop them from presenting their message. For instance, if the communicator is presenting and notices that the audience has become bored, she might change up her presentation and make it more exciting to impress the audience. 

Impactful

Competent communicators think about their purpose. They know their audience and want to make sure their message is being understood and leading to action. Think about motivational speakers and how they get people to do something. Competent communicators don't just want to share a message; they want to make their message to have an impact. They consider purpose in their message as they communicate. Knowing the impact they want to have helps them craft their message.  

Understanding  

Competent communicators work to understand their audience. They think about ways to create a bond between the speaker and the receiver of the message. Competent communicators can empathize and figure out the best way to approach a situation. 

For instance, if someone you know had lost a baby through miscarriage and had wanted to have kids for a long time, then it would probably be very inconsiderate to say, “Just try again.” This comment would be very rude, especially if this person has already tried for a long time to have a child. Competent communicators would think about how this person might feel based on what they say and what words would be more appropriate to the situation.

Complex

Competent communicators know how to say the same thing in different ways, which is known as cognitive complexity. They do conscious mental activities like thinking, reasoning, remembering, or imagining to prepare for communication. You might think that the only way to express affection would be to say, “I love you” or “You mean a lot to me.” But what other ways could you express that you care? Right now, you might be considering different ways to express affection, like writing a kind note or bringing flowers. The skill you are using is cognitive complexity. 

Think about a professor you might have had who used different methods to solve the same problem. Your professor might say, “To solve this problem, you might try method A, and if that doesn’t work, you could try method B, and method C is still another way.” This illustrates that you don’t have to say things one way, you could say it in different ways. This helps your audience understand your message better because you provide different ways to know your intended message.

Self-monitor

The last characteristic of competent communicators is the ability to self-monitor. This is the ability to focus on your behavior, and, in turn, determine how to behave based on the situation. Most people have an internal monitor of what they should say or avoid saying. Some people never give any thought to what they might say to others. These individuals have low self-monitoring skills. In other words, if they think it, they say it. In contrast, some people are high self-monitors who pay attention to every little thing: how they stand, where their eyes move, how they gesture, and maybe even how they breathe. They pay attention to these minor details because they are concerned with how the message might come across to others. Competent communicators have a balance of high and low self-monitoring. Although they realize how they might be perceived, they are not too focused on every detail about themselves that may send a message.

As you read about these attributes of competent communicators, consider which skills you have and which ones you'd like to develop. 

Set Goals for Change

Communication is something that you spend much of your time doing. Understanding the communication model and the influence of noise will help you learn how to be more adaptable and competent through deliberate study and personal reflection. Jeffrey R. Holland (2000), a modern-day prophet, said, “In the mortal realm the only real control you have is self-control.”¹² As you read concepts in this class, ask yourself what changes you need to make in your life to improve your communication.

Another modern-day prophet, Dieter F. Uchdorf (2021), advised simple ways to make these changes: 

Do you want to change the shape of your life?
Change the shape of your day.
Do you want to change your day?
Change this hour.
Change what you think, feel, and do at this very moment.
A small rudder can steer a large ship. 
Small bricks can become magnificent mansions.
Small seeds can become towering sequoias.
Minutes and hours well spent are the building blocks of a life well lived.¹³

Commit to using the knowledge you gain in this class to improve your communication and the communication of those around you. Notice your communication more and allow the Spirit to teach you where you need to make changes. You might know areas already where you can improve your communication. Taking this class can introduce you to new insights about your communication habits. 

Remember, communication is a learned skill. It takes effort to become a better listener or to give better information. If you start learning and implementing these skills now, you will be primed to take on more communication challenges that will be presented throughout this book.

Study Tips

• Make flashcards yourself with physical materials.
• Use flashcard apps - quizlet.com is a good example of an application that allows you to make flashcards.
• Read the assignments and try to understand what the words mean. The reading assignments for this week include the words you are required to study.

¹ L. Lionel Kendrick, Christlike Communications, October 1988

² Elder Charles A. Didier, Language: A Divine Way of Communicating, October 1979

³ Ether 1:34

⁴ Matt. 5: 37

⁵ John Gottman, “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail,” Simon & Schuster, 1995

⁶ Sypher, Bostrum, and Seibert, 1989

⁷ Marchant, T. (1998). STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVING INDIVIDUAL PERFORMANCE AND JOB SATISFACTION AT MEADOWVALE HEALTH.

⁸ Francis, L. E. (2003). Feeling good, feeling well: Identity, emotion, and health. In T.J. Owens & P. J. Burke (Eds.), Advances in identity theory and research (pp. 123-134). Kluwer Academic /Plenum Press.

⁹ Adler, R. B., Rosenfeld, L. R., &Proctor R. F., 11. (2007). Interplay: The process of interpersonal Communication (10th ed.). Oxford.

¹⁰ Koesten, J. (2004). Family communication patterns, sex of subject, and communication competence. Communication Monographs, 71(2), 226-244.

¹¹ Michael J. Teh, “Out of Small Things,” October 2007

¹² Jeffrey R. Holland, “Sanctify yourselves,” October, 2000

¹³ Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Daily Restoration,” October 2021