Regardless of their belief system, most leaders can probably easily recognize behaviors and paradigms that help their organization and those that harm it. As disciple-leaders, we can consider behaviors and paradigms that help the organization as “light” and those that harm it as “darkness.”

Examples of light might include:

• uniting behind a clear purpose
• overcoming contention to find a peaceful solution
• strengthening relationships
• working together to achieve results
• helping people be their best selves.

On the other hand, manifestations of darkness might include:

• laziness and mediocrity
• talking behind others’ backs
• destructive arguments and contention
• dishonesty and corruption
• confusion, distraction, and lack of purpose

As disciple-leaders, we must respect the agency of every human being with whom we will ever interact. When people act against true principles and invite darkness into the organization, it can be tempting to try and force others to comply and to “get with the program.” However, it is contrary to the nature of God to seek to control, force, or manipulate others. We have to find a way to generate or invite more light and to effectively drive out darkness without violating the agency of others.

In Doctrine and Covenants 50:23-25, the Savior teaches us how to recognize light and darkness and instructs us to “chase darkness from among [us].” In Moroni 7:12-20, the prophet Mormon gives powerful instruction regarding how to recognize or discern between light and darkness. He also warns us not to “judge wrongfully” and asks the poignant question: “How is it possible that ye can lay hold upon every good thing?” The answers that come throughout the remainder of the chapter powerfully illustrate the relationship between faith, hope, and charity and how those principles can help all mankind to embrace the principles of light and to overcome darkness. 

While not everyone currently believes in Christ or in His teachings as taught in the scriptures, there are people all over the world, from many different belief systems, who love the truth and want to follow it. That means that as disciple-leaders, while it is usually inappropriate to teach religious principles in a non-religious context, we can still teach true principles in a way that resonates with the various belief systems of those we lead, trusting that their love for the truth will allow the principles to resonate with and inspire them.

In verse 28, Mormon also explains that as disciple-leaders, we can count on the Savior’s support: “wherefore he advocateth the cause of the children of men.” Christ is the advocate of all mankind, and as leaders, we can expect His help in generating light and driving darkness from the organizations we lead.

The Culture of Christ: How can I create a culture of inclusion and belonging at home, at Church, at work, and in the community, especially in a world with so many differences?

Throughout the management world, many people have come to believe that an organization’s culture is even more important than its strategy, not because the organization can succeed without a strong strategy, but because no strategy, no matter how good, can survive the constraints imposed by a sick culture. In words often attributed to management guru Peter Drucker, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.”

As we understand the importance of organizational culture, we also realize that no leader can effectively lead others without at least some understanding of what culture is and how to effectively build it. 

When we think about culture building, many of our first thoughts might include images of people gathered together in corporate retreats in which they play games, have deep conversations, sing songs, or do any number of activities designed to build trust and understanding.

While these types of activities can certainly be helpful, our focus in this chapter as we think about building a culture of belonging will focus on

• a specific definition of culture
• a simple, effective approach to culture building
• how Christlike principles can help us build a lasting culture of inclusion and belonging

What is organizational culture?

Edgar Schein, one of the world’s most renowned experts on organizational culture out of the Massachussettes Institute of Technology (MIT) offers the following specific definition of culture:

 A pattern of shared basic assumptions, invented, discovered, or developed by a given group as it learns to cope with its problems of external adaptation and internal integration, that has worked well enough to be considered valid, and therefore, is to be taught to new members of the group as the correct way to perceive, think, and feel in relation to those problems.

While this is a fairly complex definition, we can attempt to simplify it in the following way: Culture is a pattern developed over time as a group solves problems together. If the pattern works well enough to be accepted by the group, the pattern is taught to new group members as the way to solve problems. In short, the culture becomes “the way we do things around here.”

For example, if a family has learned that yelling at each other works well enough to solve their problems, they will keep doing it and will then teach their children, perhaps mostly be example, that yelling is the way to solve problems. Thus yelling becomes the general way of doing things - the family culture.

How can we build organizational culture?

In the book, How Will You Measure Your Life?, the late Clayton M. Christensen, a world-renowned business thinker, professor at the Harvard Business School, and an exemplary Latter-day Saint, builds off of Edgar Schein’s definition of culture to suggest three simple things we can do to build an organization’s culture. While the book goes into greater detail, for our purposes, we can summarize it as follows:

1. Decide what you will value in your culture.
2. Determine what you will repeatedly do to solve problems in a way that honors those values.
3. Identify beforehand how you will respond whenever a person acts agains the values of the culture.

To illustrate the importance of giving feedback consistent with the desired culture, Clayton Christensen explains: 

You can tell the health of a company’s culture by asking, ‘When faced with a choice on how to do something, did employees make the decision that the culture ‘wanted’ them to make? And was the feedback they received consistent with that?’ If these elements aren’t actively managed, then a single wrong decision or wrong outcome can quite easily send a firm’s culture down entirely the wrong path.

Clayton Christensen further explains that once the hard work has been done to internalize the values of the culture, the culture can effectively “lead itself” in the right direction:

If these paradigms of how to work together, and of what things should be given priority over other things, are pursued successfully over and over again, ultimately employees won’t stop and ask each other how they should work together. They will just assume that the way they have been doing it is the way of doing it. The advantage of this is that it effectively causes an organization to become self-managing. 

As an example, if an organization has decided that they want a culture in which people feel safe to share their opinions without fear of harsh judgment or retribution, they will also need to reflect that value over and over again in formal and informal meetings. If, at some point, a leader in the organization, rather than listening and responding respectively to another team member’s differing opinion, instead raises her voice in an opposing, threatening way, the organization will have to have some way of quickly showing the manager that her behavior is not appropriate and is in fact, against the culture. If this feedback is already a built-in part of the culture, the feedback process will happen naturally and expectedly. On the other hand, if inappropriate behavior is ignored, the value of sharing opinions openly without fear can quickly erode away and become mere lip service.

Similarly, if the Garcia family has decided that “The Garcia’s are kind,” they will also need to decide how to repeatedly show kindness to one another and to people with whom they interact. If the father of the family at some point loses his temper and speaks unkindly, if they are to preserve their desired culture, the family will also need to have a predetermined way to let Dad know that his angry outburst was inappropriate and that he should apologize.

How can Christlike principles help us build a lasting culture of inclusion and belonging?

Throughout today’s world, there is much talk about creating diverse cultures of belonging. Many well-meaning efforts seek to impose measures of inclusion on the culture. For example, hiring quotas that require certain percentages of certain genders, races, ages, or orientations, while they may serve to force compliance and externally demonstrate inclusion, they cannot actually change the hearts of individuals or become a natural and permanent part of the organization’s culture. For a culture to truly change, people must willingly choose to solve problems together in a new and better way that eventually becomes “the way we do things around here.” For this to happen, the individuals in the organization will need to understand and adopt true principles that lead them to perceive and act in a better way that worked “well enough” before the change.

While there are many sources of true and good principles in the world, as disciple-leaders we have the singular blessing of following the Savior, “the way, the truth, and the life.” As people learn to see each other more truely and to treat one another according to true principles, belonging and inclusion will become a principle valued by the individuals in the organization and, rather than an imposed program, will become, “the way we do things.” 

Read the following talk by Elder Jackson.  He illustrates beautifully how a culture can be based on the teachings of Christ and thus transcend incomplete or incorrect traditions and beliefs, no matter how deep or universally held:

• The Culture of Christ

Ponder the following quote by Elder Jackson:

In most man-made cultures, there is found both good and bad, constructive and destructive…Many of our world’s problems are a direct result of clashes between those of differing ideas and customs arising from their culture. But virtually all conflict and chaos would quickly fade if the world would only accept its original culture, the one we all possessed not so very long ago.

The Emotional Bank Account: What can I do to strengthen my relationships with others?

One of the most important ways that we can move from independence to interdependence is to proactively focus on building strong, trusting relationships with others. 

As we consider what we’ve learned in The 7 Habits about the Emotional Bank Account, it’s helpful to ponder the relationships in our own lives. We may want to reflect on each relationship and ask ourselves whether we currently have a strong positive balance or a negative balance in the Emotional Bank Account.

Why is effective communication essential to disciple-leadership?

As you read the 7 Habits this week, you will learn the deep importance of Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. As we consider the Disciple Leadership Model above, we are now moving from the Lord’s pattern of creation to the work leaders must be engaged in at all times: to generate light and drive out darkness.

Generating light and driving out darkness in the lives of others is not as simple as it is in our individual lives. We can never forget that agency is not only an important reality for each human being, it is also a principle so important that our Father in Heaven was willing to wage the War in Heaven to preserve it and to give the life of His Son so that we might be able to learn from our own experience by making choices and exercising the gift of agency.

Knowing that agency is so important, we must also understand that we cannot effectively lead others without understanding what matters to them and communicating light and truth in such a way that it motivates proactive action and improvement based on true principles.

Communication is not easy and many leaders seek to obtain compliance and results through manipulation, force, or coercion. While this type of leadership may work in the short run (we have thousands of years of history that show that coercive leadership can definitely make things happen), it is contrary to the laws of God. It ultimately leads to resentment, rebellion, and even war. 

Therefore, as disciple-leaders, we must learn to value, study, and practice effective communication as we Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.

What examples of effective communication can I learn from in the life of the Savior and in modern life?

What principles do I need to study and make part of my life to become an effective listener?

As you read and study the material for this week, you may want to consider the following question (adapted from Elder Bednar’s question referred to earlier from his book, Increase in Learning):

“What doctrine or principles, if understood, would help me to deeply understand others and to communicate in an effective, influential way?”

This chapter will teach essential principles that help us answer this question. You may also want to ponder and consider other principles that facilitate deep, impactful communication. For example, you might consider how charity is necessary to help others feel safe and willing to share their thoughts and feelings. You might also know of other books or resources on communication that share other true and important principles.

As you read The 7 Habits this week, you will continue to learn about how to motivate people by taking a synergistic approach. Also, you will learn the power of 'sharpening the saw' in your own life.

How can I listen empathically? Can I understand others when I’m “in the box?”

We’ve already learned much about listening empathically from the reading. The following video offers additional insight into what empathy really is and how we can learn to listen to others with genuine empathy:

Watch this video,Brené Brown on Empathy.

Ponder the following:

• What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?
• How can I remember to show genuine empathy in every interaction, especially when I’m in a hurry, or when I don’t agree with another person’s feelings or point of view?

As we’ve been reading, The Anatomy of Peace, much of the conversation has centered on being in or out of “the box,” or having a “heart at peace” vs. a “heart at war.” While we can ask all the right questions and seem like we are listening on the outside, if our heart is not right toward another person, our listening can never be as effective as when we have a heart at peace. If we are seeing another person as an object or a problem to be solved, our listening will be tainted by that point of view. However, we can take comfort in the fact that if our attempts to understand truly are sincere, this is one of the most effective ways to get out of the box. Our sincere efforts to understand others and to see them as they really are will also help us get out of the box and develop a heart at peace.

Habit 6: Synergize

1. Watch this video, What is Synergy?.

2. Read the first part of the Habit 6: Synergize (pages 215-222)
   • Remember to take notes as you read.
3. Watch this video: The Third Alternative and Family
4. Continue reading starting at the heading, "Fishing for the Third Alternative." (pages 222–232)
5. You will apply these concepts in future assignments.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

1. Watch this video, "Daily Private Victory".
3. Read the Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw chapter (pages 234-248)
   • Remember to take notes as you read.
4. You will apply these concepts in future assignments.

How can I communicate effectively in life’s most challenging conversations?

All of us have had and will have challenging conversations. Whether in marriage, with our children, at work, or in our ministry in the Church, how will handle challenging conversations can have a dramatic impact on our lives. For example, how many of us have wished that we knew how to find peaceful and mutually-beneficial solutions to arguments with those we care about? How many marriages have ended in divorce because the spouses could not effectively work through their differences of opinion? How many of us have found ourselves frustrated at work because we couldn’t effectively manage differences of opinion? How many people have left the Church because they were offended in a conversation with a leader or another member of the congregation?

In the book, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High, the authors share powerful principles and skills to help us learn to handle life’s most difficult conversations. While we recommend reading the entire book, for purposes of this course, we refer you to the following summary material:

• Read the Summary of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High
• Review The Law of Crucial Conversations

As you read the resources above, consider the following questions:

• What problems and relationships in your life are currently less than they might be because of conversations you are either not holding or not holding well?
• If you had more skill in challenging conversations, in what ways could you improve your relationships at work, at home, or at church?
• How do the principles of Physical and Spiritual Creation compare with the principles of Start with Heart?
• How does Habit 5 apply to the principles of Making it Safe?
• How could Mastering Your Stories help you when you have a “heart at war?”
• How can the principle of Making it Safe help us Generate Light and Drive Out Darkness in conversations and relationships?

In what ways does communication impact all aspects of leadership?

This course explicitly focuses on helping us become more effective disciple-leaders. If we take another look at our disciple-leadership model, we can notice multiple ways in which listening is essential to our success. For example, as we seek to build others, we cannot build them until we understand clearly what they most need. Similarly, even our own efforts to become more like the Savior will be impossibly stalled without cultivating an ability to hear and respond to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. We also must listen, understand, and communicate effectively to create things with others and to be accountable and help others be accountable for results. Throughout this chapter, we’ve also seen several ways communication is foundational to all our efforts to generate light and drive out the darkness from the organization.

Although we cannot begin to study all aspects of leadership in a semester-long course, it can be helpful to consider how communication impacts other areas of leadership. As you go about the coming week, it may be helpful to ponder the following questions:

• In what other ways do I observe communication affecting my ability to lead others?
• How can I make it a priority to continuously seek to improve my ability to communicate with others?