A Brief Literature Review of the Nine Principles that Establish and Maintain Successful Families

Prayer 

Although prayer is viewed as a key concept in religious and sacred traditions, prayer has also been examined extensively by researchers. Prayer has a demonstrated positive impact on children (Chen & VanderWeele, 2018), couples (Wilcox & Wolfinger, 2016), and individuals (Friese & Wänke, 2014). For example, as the frequency of prayer is increased among adolescents, depressive levels and suicidal ideation (thinking about suicide) decrease (Nooney, 2005). Chen and VanderWeele (2018) from Harvard University used a longitudinal study to examine the relationship between childhood religious practices, such as attending church and praying, with a host of outcomes in young adulthood. Overall, they discovered that the practice of prayer during childhood was related to healthier decisions, as well as better mental, emotional, and physical well-being in young adulthood. They found that children or adolescents who prayed or meditated at least daily were more likely to report higher levels of happiness than young adults. It also appeared to impact their sexual health, with regular prayer during childhood being connected to being less likely to have a sexually transmitted infection or start having sex at a young age (Chen & VanderWeele, 2018). Dr. VanderWeele summarized their findings in this way “[we discovered] profound effects of child and adolescent prayer on the big three dangers of adolescence—depression, substance abuse, and risky behaviors—as well as positive effects on happiness, volunteering, having a sense of mission, and forgiveness” (ElHage, 2018, para. 10).

Although prayer can improve marital satisfaction (Adamczyk & Pietrzak, 2022), it can have other possible benefits. When couples pray together, it can lead to greater levels of relationship trust (Lambert et al., 2012) and improve relationship quality-more so than other religious experiences such as religious attendance or even belonging to a particular denomination (Wilcox & Wolfinger, 2016). Praying together as a married couple indeed can assist in strengthening the marital relationship. 

Even though there may be wisdom in pursuing shared couple prayer, sometimes couples may struggle in praying together. While that can still be a goal, some benefits come from individual prayer within the context of a marriage. Prayer can strengthen one’s self-control (Friese & Wänke, 2014), which is associated with marital quality (Bornstein et al., 2017; Vohs et al., 2011). A certain type of prayer, referred to as partner-focused petitionary prayer (PFPP) has been linked to improved relationship quality and cardiovascular efficiency, which could eventually lead to improved blood pressure (May et al., 2020). PFPP refers to requesting God’s help on behalf of their partner and has also been identified as a form of coping that leads to stronger relationship commitment and higher marital quality (Fincham & Beach, 2014). Praying for your partner is also correlated with lower levels of marital infidelity (Rayesh & Kalantar, 2018).

Prayer can have many positive effects on couples and families, from increased sexual frequency in marriage (Cranney, 2020) to leading to positive change, humility, positivity, communication, understanding, and conflict resolution (Hatch et al., 2016). Prayer is a means to reduce tension in relationships, strengthen family bonds, create a sense of family unity, and transmit important religious traditions to future generations (Chelladurai et al., 2018). Prayer is a tremendous blessing for children, adults, couples, and families and a foundational way to establish and maintain successful marriages and families.

References

Adamczyk, K., & Pietrzak, S. (2022). Prayer for a Partner and Relationship Outcomes: The Moderating Role of Relationship Form (Marital vs. Nonmarital Relationship). Religions, 13(10), 953. https://doi.org/10.3390/rel13100953 

Bornstein, J. X., vanDellen, M. R., & Shaffer, A. (2017). Examining trait self-control and communication patterns in romantic couples using the actor-partner interaction model. Personality and Individual Differences, 106, 222–225. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.11.002

Chelladurai, J. M., Dollahite, D. C., & Marks, L. D. (2018). “The family that prays together . . .”: Relational processes associated with regular family prayer. Journal of Family Psychology, 32(7), 849–859. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000432

Chen, Y., & VanderWeele, T. J. (2018). Associations of Religious Upbringing With Subsequent Health and Well-Being From Adolescence to Young Adulthood: An Outcome-Wide Analysis. American Journal of Epidemiology, 187(11), 2355–2364. https://doi.org/10.1093/aje/kwy142

Cranney, S. (2020). The Influence of Religiosity/Spirituality on Sex Life Satisfaction and Sexual Frequency: Insights from the Baylor Religion Survey. Review of Religious Research, 62(2), 289–314. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13644-019-00395-w

ElHage, A. (2018, September 13). The Power of Prayer for Families. Institute for Family Studies. https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-power-of-prayer-for-families

Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. H. (2014). I say a little prayer for you: Praying for partner increases commitment in romantic relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(5), 587–593. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0034999

Friese, M., & Wänke, M. (2014). Personal prayer buffers self-control depletion. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 51, 56–59. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2013.11.006

Hatch, T. G., Marks, L. D., Bitah, E. A., Lawrence, M., Lambert, N. M., Dollahite, D. C., & Hardy, B. P. (2016). The Power of Prayer in Transforming Individuals and Marital Relationships: A Qualitative Examination of Christian, Jewish, and Muslim Families. Review of Religious Research, 58(1), 27–46. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13644-015-0236-z

Lambert, N. M., Fincham, F. D., LaVallee, D. C., & Brantley, C. W. (2012). Praying together and staying together: Couple prayer and trust. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality, 4(1), 1–9. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0023060

May, R. W., Cooper, A. N., & Fincham, F. D. (2020). Prayer in Marriage to Improve Wellness: Relationship Quality and Cardiovascular Functioning. Journal of Religion and Health, 59(6), 2990–3003. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-019-00829-3

Nooney, J. G. (2005). Religion, Stress, and Mental Health in Adolescence: Findings from Add Health. Review of Religious Research, 46(4), 341. https://doi.org/10.2307/3512165

Rayesh, N., & Kalantar, S. M. (2018). The role of praying for the spouse and sanctification of marriage in reducing infidelity. Mental Health, Religion & Culture, 21(1), 65–76. https://doi.org/10.1080/13674676.2018.1447555

Vohs, K. D., Finkenauer, C., & Baumeister, R. F. (2011). The Sum of Friends’ and Lovers’ Self-Control Scores Predicts Relationship Quality. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2(2), 138–145. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550610385710

Wilcox, W. B., & Wolfinger, N. H. (2016). Soul mates: Religion, sex, love, and marriage among African Americans and Latinos. Oxford University Press.