I-Messages are a positive way to explain to someone how a situation makes you feel. When someone in your life is doing something frustrating to you, the natural thing is to be angry and shout at them, usually with phrases like "You always do ___!" or "Why won't you stop ___?" This language makes the other person feel defensive and the problem is likely to escalate. Using language that is kind and soft, while using phrases like "I feel frustrated when ___ happens" helps show the feelings you have when the annoying thing happens while giving the other person the opportunity to see what is making you feel that way without blaming them.

Another essential part of using an I-message is creating a mutual solution to the issue. Asking the other person how they think the problem should be solved and being willing to work with them to help each other feel better makes both parties more willing to solve the issue.

Which is the best example of an I-message?

I feel frustrated when the house is messy. Could we work on making sure the dishes get done weekly?

You never use the welcome mat and always leave a mess when you walk into the house!

I think you should be better at noticing my feelings. I don't feel cared about.

Which of the following are feelings that ensue when 'you' language is used? SATA

Defensiveness

Anger

Blame

Regretful

Remorseful

Open